Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Washington's T-Day Proclamation (the ACLU Version)

Here's the officially approved ACLU version for the Cupertino Union School District. Hats off to you if you can correctly fill in the missing words. If not, I suggest taking a look at the real version.

Whereas it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of @#$%^&*( $%, to obey @#$ will, to be grateful for @#$ benefits, and humbly to implore @#$ protection and favor; and Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me "to recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and @#$%^, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty @#$, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness:"

Now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the 26th day of November next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious @#$%^ who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto @#$ our sincere and humble thanks for @#$ kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of @#$ providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed; for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted' for the civil and !@#$%^& liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and, in general, for all the great and various favors which @# has been pleased to confer upon us.

And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our @#$^$ and supplications to the great @#$% and @#$% of Nations and beseech @#$ to pardon our national and other transgressions; to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have show kindness to us), and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true @#$%^& and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as @# alone knows to be best.

Given under my hand, at the city of New York, the 3d dy of October, A.D. 1789.

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